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He thinks that you, a woman will give him all that he desires: warm welcome, the work of your body, a pillow to repose upon and sleep. So when he speaks, he uses his own language; the glint of his armor and the dried blood on his sword will do the translating for him. I am happy to report that Amnon is repentant and has accepted the gospel.

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Jump to. Original artwork by Lorraine Nam. Bitch Media is celebrating 20 years of award-winning, nonprofit, feminist response to pop culture. The original version of this article was printed in the The Confidential issue of Bitch magazine, Fall It appears here with a new introduction from original author Gina McGalliard as a part of the special 20th anniversary edition of Bitch magazine.

I began researching and writing about the Christian Patriarchy Movement around the same time that the evangelical movement known as Quiverfull was starting to attract the attention of secular media—largely via the Duggar family and their ever-expanding empire of televised morality. But cracks in the facade of these godly family values are hard to hide, and it might come as no surprise that the same hypocrisy that thrived in other bastions of Christian patriarchy brought down the architect of stay-at-home-daughter piety.

So much more

The Botkin sisters no longer sell Return of the Daughtersnor their book, So Much Moreand have tried to distance themselves from their evangelism, renaming the Visionary Daughters blog simply Botkin Sisters. Have feminism and reproductive technology made them obsolete? Are breadwinning wives and career-oriented mothers emasculating them?

No such uncertainty exists in the mind of Doug Phillips, the man quoted above. According to Christian Patriarchy, marriage bonds man the symbol of Christ to woman the symbol of the Church. Young women pursuing their own ambitions and goals are viewed as selfish and antifamily; marriage is not a choice or one piece of a larger life plan, but the ultimate goal.

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Although the CPM has been around for the past several decades, with its roots in the founding of the Council of Biblical Manhood and Womanhood and the teachings of religious leaders like Bill Gothard and Rousas J. Rushdoony, the stay-at-home-daughters movement seems to have gained traction in the last decade. Kathryn Joyce, author of the book Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement, estimates the CPM population to be in the low tens of thousands, but the rise of evangelical and fundamentalist Christianity over the past several decades makes it difficult to predict how large the CPM following could eventually become.


Vision Forum, for its part, is fully dedicated to turning back the clock on gender equality. Its website offers a cornucopia of sex-segregated books and products deed to conform children to rigid gender stereotypes starting from an early age.

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The Beautiful Girlhood Collection features dolls, cooking and sewing play sets, and costumes. The most visible proponents of this belief are Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin, sisters and authors of the book So Much More: The Remarkable Influence of Visionary Daughters on the Kingdom of God published by Vision Forumand creators of the documentary film Return of the Daughterswhich follows several young women staying home until marriage, and details how they spend their time serving their fathers.

I believe that helping my father in his business is a better use of my youth and is helping prepare me to be a better helpmeet for my future husband, rather than indulging in selfishness and pursuing my own success and selfish ambitions. On stayathomedaughters. We are anti-feminism, and we are counter-cultural.

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The of these blogs and their followers may be surprising to secular women, who would likely find the tenets the bloggers live by disturbingly retrograde, if not just plain disturbing. The Botkin sisters write in So Much More that loving your parents means agreeing with all their opinions. The Botkin sisters aim to validate living a life of confinement with staunch, if unfounded, beliefs regarding college.

Emotion/logic, sex/purity

Although neither of the sisters has attended college, they also claim universities are hotbeds of Marxism that forbid a free exchange of ideas and seek to indoctrinate students in leftist thinking. Critical thinking and immersion in a diversity of viewpoints and opinions—a chief goal of the college experience—seems to be what the Botkin sisters truly fear.

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The story of one misled college attendee, the providentially named Evangeline, is instructive. And here it was! What joy! What relief! But not all stay-at-home daughters accept their lot so unquestioningly. Now the author of the Isaacharican Daughters newsletter, Genevieve exemplifies how young women in this lifestyle are encouraged to replace their own thoughts and identities with those of whichever male figure in their lives currently acts as the authority. My loyalties have had to undergo a change. I was used to thinking Dad knew best. Now I needed to learn to think that Pete knows best.

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I used to do things and invest my time in projects according to what I knew Dad would want me to do. Now I needed to be guided by what Pete wanted me to do. What about what you think? One has to wonder if Genevieve, with her childhood dreams of national politics, bought into the myth that feminism is antimotherhood and antifamily, and thus feels she must choose between having a family and her own personhood, something most would consider a false choice.

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The Botkin sisters have a different take. To order our lives around another person. To esteem and reverence [sic] and adore a man whose faults we can see clearly every day. After all, women raised in the CPM are brought up to believe that the world outside their community is sin-filled, godless, and dangerous; opting for stay-at-home daughterhood represents a lifetime of safety. If your behavior was more gentle, feminine, respectful, and lovely would he be more inclined to be protective of you?

The stay-at-home-daughters movement has inevitably inspired controversy botkins dissent, much of it among dedicated Christians who consider it to be a dire misconstruction of their religion. But unlike other conservative religious groups that are typically closed off from the rest of society—the Amish, or fundamentalist Mormon polygamists—the stay-at-home-daughters movement and the CPM might be capable of seeping into the already-booming wants of evangelical and fundamentalist churches and Christian homeschoolers, which already advocate a less rigorous version of female submission.

In this sense, stay-at-home daughters might woman that they are the most pure, and most righteous, of Christians. In a complex world where women have more choices than ever, perhaps the appeal of this lifestyle for both men and women is perpetual female childhood. Men make all decisions sex are never told they are wrong, always getting their way, while women are free of any decision-making: a markedly different, albeit less complicated relationship than one between two equals.

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Only time will tell how far this new movement will spread. In the meantime, those of us who were lucky enough to have fathers who delighted in our accomplishments and growth as individuals—rather than believing our existence was to serve their own needs—should count our blessings.

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