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In a free-use fantasy, partners can have sex with each other whenever they want, no holds barred. But in reality, freedom is anything but free.

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Groggy and barely conscious, the bespectacled brunette stretched her jaw to let it all the way in, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she came online. A third, more common iteration involves one person going about their daily business — cookingcleaningreadingtextingworking and snoozing — as their partner has their way with them.

Obviously, there are a million shades of grey in between.

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As many people in the free-use world point out, the term can mean almost anything so long as there are elements of easy access and the freedom to use or be used. In some cases, free use takes place within a BDSM dynamic, and will make use of kinkier things like bondage, sensory deprivation and even other people to enhance the fantasy. But in others, free use is perfectly vanilla.

Anytime, anywhere: the growing appeal of the free-use fetish

Vixen and KinkShame use each other in equal measure, and they mostly stick to hand jobs, blow jobs and vaginal sex; the majority of which they do while playing video games or waking up in the morning. To wit, interest in free use does seem to be growing. That could just be because more people are discovering that their long-held desires have a name, but it could also have to do with the way the fetish quells the exhausting rigors of, you know, being alive. Their free-use dynamic started last fall after Vixen moved in with him and their respective quarantine horniness became too much to bear.

That makes the free-use element pretty easy for us.

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KinkShame agrees. Bryce, for one, would love a free-use partner he actually has feelings for.

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Anal is off the table for now, too, at least until after Vixen does some training. Crucially, that consent can be revoked or re-negotiated at any time — with a safeword or otherwise — even if it was granted earlier.

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That, of course, is what differentiates free use from rape. As long as KinkShame stays within that line, morning blowjobs it is. Isabelle Kohn is a sex and relationships journalist, educator and consultant who, for some reason, keeps writing about livestock instead.

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She writes features and long-form pieces for MEL, usually without the help of Clippy. Anytime, Anywhere: The Growing Appeal of the Free-Use Fetish In a free-use fantasy, partners can have sex with each other whenever they want, no holds barred. Isabelle Kohn Isabelle Kohn is a sex and relationships journalist, educator and consultant who, for some reason, keeps writing about livestock instead.

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