A creative strategist, consultant and writer who specializes in cultivating human potential for happiness, health and fulfillment. Read full profile.
How many times can you go out to dinner and a movie? You are still going on dates, right.
Even long-term relationships need to go on a date occasionally. There are so many dating options out there to choose from, depending upon your interests, budget, and location. Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash. Women, couples, and family Therapist; Translating almost anything into concrete steps towards success and happiness.
They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? There are some very clear s that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.
Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people. Fake people like to show off.
They love looking at themselves in the mirror. Most of these people are actually not that good in real life.
How to cope with fake people moving forward?
But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? To grow, we must accept feedback from others.
We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve. Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes.
Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.
A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them?
How to spot fake people?
Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.
Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy.
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Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down. Fake people are bad friends.
In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person. There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them. Keep your boundaries very clear.
As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilienceboundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions. Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on.
It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.
If it works, great. Your conscience is clear. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.
Now, this one, I offer with caution. Have they suffered recent trauma?
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Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there.
In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives! They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this.
Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. Remember that life is a rollercoaster. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with. We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely! Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.
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Relationships Advertising. Royale Scuderi A creative strategist, consultant and writer who specializes in cultivating human potential for happiness, health and fulfillment. Share Pin it Tweet Share. More by this author Royale Scuderi A creative strategist, consultant and writer who specializes in cultivating human potential for happiness, health and fulfillment.
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